Great disappointment has spread across the world today as new research from the Centre of Thinking found that travelling doesn’t actually make you an interesting person.
The study took a sample of 50 well-travelled individuals out for a night to see if they were actually worthwhile company. Ending the study at around 3am the next morning, researchers were shocked to find that being well-travelled might actually mean you are more boring than the ‘normals’.
“They spent the whole evening talking about events that had transpired on their holidays, any conversation be it about which drink to buy, how everyone was doing or if we should order a taxi normally ended with a story about a rickshaw or some nice Americans they had met in an obscure hostel in some God forsaken country.
“It was a difficult study,” admitted one of the scientists behind the study. “They kept telling me they found themselves in India but of course you’ll find yourself there if you are physically there. I find myself in bed most mornings, it doesn’t actually mean anything.”
Well-travelled individuals have expressed a fear of impending hostility towards them, and believe discrimination is just around the corner.
“It won’t be long now,” explained Lisa Smith, who has just returned from South America. “Soon they’ll be hunting us down on the streets, burning large camping bags on our front gardens and forcing us to sit at the back of the bus in case we bring up a travelling story. You know, this reminds me of a time I was riding an elephant in Peru.”
Disgruntled News – a fun sucking vampire