NEWSFLASH: Socks are slave masters

Feet everywhere beg humans to stop supporting the cotton tyranny of socks.

The House of Commons allowed feet to have a say today in a bid to pacify disenfranchised sections of the human body left behind by the 21st century. Their main target was socks, who they consider a cotton slave master restricting their brothers all around the world.

Feet were quick to blame humans. They think humans’ fully supporting the sock makes an utter ‘mockery of democracy’. Discrimination against naked feet has stretched back to last century when socks were found near a meteorite landing. They [the socks] offered us a deal, they would keep our feet warm and relatively stink free if we would mass produce them and offer them safety in our sock drawers – that’s how the relationship began.

The MP’s were quick to blame socks for many problems, like how the socks had taken the abuse dossier and that socks planned every bad thing that had happened in the last century.

“Look at pictures of Hitler again, he was wearing socks – it’s all so clear now,” commented the leader of the feet, The Foot.

Disgruntled News – hater of the cotton shackles


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