NEWSFLASH: Taking naked pictures of yourself or filming your sex life will now be a criminal offence

With the pressure rising on MP’s to get off their arse and do something about revenge porn, they’ve decided to go the whole hog and ban documented nakedness.

“I love my wife,” explained Richard Head one of the presiding judges on the revenge porn case. “But I wouldn’t want any naked pictures of her I wouldn’t know what to do with the damn pictures in the first place. I’m not going to shake my love milkshake over an image of my own wife – that’s just sick – if I did that it would basically be like undercutting the porn industry.

“That’s why we’ve decided to ban the whole craze of taking naked pictures of yourself, anyone who is caught taking a naked picture of themselves will have to wear some really garish curtains from the 70’s for a few years. The ones with yellow flowers on a brown background, we’ll call them the curtains of shame – that will show them. This extends to filming your average sex life, no one wants to see that, not even the people involved want to see themselves rutting steadily into their loved ones. No we’d all much rather watch a bunch of women disfigured by cosmetic surgery and their coke addiction doing it with men who literally ooze insane.”

County councils across Britain have started distributing advice on the new revenge porn legislation. It is a single page document that reads “think of the curtains you’ll have to wear, the shameful, shameful curtains.”

Disgruntled News – the shame curtain creator

The curtain design of shame

The curtain design of shame

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