NEWSFLASH: Showing off on social media doesn’t guarantee you are better than everyone you know.

New research has shown that posting ‘life-affirming’ pictures and statuses about your mundane life doesn’t improve your quality of life.

The Centre of Mundane Studies has discovered that people who may appear interesting on their social media accounts aren’t necessarily interesting. Research conducted over the span of three drug induced days found that people who regularly update their profiles with pictures of food, holidays or social events may have no life at all.

“We created a mathematical equation to prove our research,” affirmed Richard Head one of the lead scientists behind this ground breaking experiment. “Regular updates divided by actual friends = overall quality of life. We stumbled upon the equation when bitterly stalking our ‘apparently’ more successful, well-travelled and well fed school friends. After hundreds of pictures documenting everywhere these people have gone, or whatever they’ve eaten we realised that they still had no life. In fact those cocky bastards probably have a terrible life made worse by the fact I’m a successful scientist in a respected newspaper.”

Self-conscious Briton’s everywhere can now breathe a sigh of relief as they no longer have to measure themselves next to strangers they never talk to.

“This research still won’t stop your social media friends from flaunting anything vaguely interesting that has occurred in their life. It also won’t stop them from posting Game of Thrones spoilers – those selfish bastards.”

Disgruntled News – giving all your jobs to foreigners

"LOOK at all the cookies I'm having with ALL my friends"

“LOOK at all the cookies I’m having with ALL my friends”


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