Tony Blair made an announcement today warning the British public that reading the full Iraq report could bring about the destruction of the human world. According to our sources, the report was unfortunately written on an Indian burial ground, and then left in a house with a history of suicides.
“It’s a shame,” explained Mr Blair. “I would have loved everyone to read it but it’s full of evil spirits. Even the investigators of the case have been unable to fully read it due to all the strange happenings. The words sometimes blur into a sentence or paragraph that makes me or George look bad, or sometimes the pages just turn by themselves providing there is a strong draft. If you read it backwards a scary looking girl haunts you.
“Due to the unforeseen circumstances the British public will be unable to read the document until a priest has exercised the demons from it. But our best bet is to burn it and forget about the whole thing.”
George Bush didn’t want to make any comments on the document but he did explain “that the Ring and the Grudge are fucking scary as fuck.”
-Disgruntled news – spreading lies like butter
Picture taken from: (http://creepersreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/scary-movie-4-2006-review.html)