NEWSFLASH: God’s on holiday, salvation will have to wait.

morgan-freeman-god-in-bru-007

Christians found themselves in a difficult situation last night, it has emerged.

In normal Christian fashion, prayers were said to God but instead of no answer they all received an out of office reply from Our Father.

Richard Head, a local priest was shocked to discover that eternal redemption would have to wait two weeks while God enjoyed a trip with his ‘twelve lads’ to Ibiza. “I was offering my prayers to God, asking him to deliver me from this awful priesthood, or at least give me the Nightrider car as compensation for making me bald, when I received a message. It read:

‘Sorry peeps, away with the boys for two weeks. Getting our beers on in Ibiza. If it’s urgent, call my mobile or email Mary (that goodie goodie).’

Kisses, hugs and eternal salvation,

GOD

“We were shocked to say the least,” sputtered Richard through his tears. “Why wouldn’t he invite us?”

Disgruntled News would like to inform all Ibiza goers not to approach God nor to offer him your soul as he might sell it for pills

 

-Disgruntled NEWS

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