NEWSFLASH: Bullies could have made you a loveless fatty!

spiderman fatty

Are you a loveless fatty, working a remedial job? Well, recent research has shown that being bullied at school can not only reduce you to a snivelling wimp (you snivelling wimps), but can also affect your grades at school. The link is fairly obvious, when could you get on with work when everyone around you is mocking your man-boobs, ugly face or substandard social skills? Freaks across Britain had nothing to say about it but we’re certain they read it in the dark before they switched on LOL to distract themselves from their loneliness. However, a few petty freaks have taken to the courts and are now suing their childhood bullies for damaging their future opportunities. “I wouldn’t be so fat, unhealthy and stuck working in McDonalds if I hadn’t got so many gut punches and mocking character assessments.”

We at Disgruntled News HQ are breathing a sigh of relief; this new research has proven that Life really is the harshest bully of all.

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