NEWSFLASH: David Cameron will tell God how mean we are!


We could all be due a good telling off says David Cameron. At a meeting discussing possible plans for resurrecting Princess Diana, David Cameron stated in his speech “We’ve all had enough of discussing Princess Diana, especially zombie Princess Diana. What I really want to talk about is how I’ve had enough of being criticised by the public, if it doesn’t stop right now,” he then stamped his feet for 5 minutes before continuing. “I will really tell God on you, I had a good talk with him on Easter and he said you guys are being really mean to me. When I tell God on you guys, he’s going to tell your mums and then you’ll have to play nice with me.”

The meeting was then stopped as David Cameron had to get back home before dinner was ready – our sources say he also took his ball home with him. Journalists from the Daily Disgruntled tried to secure an interview with him the next day but were told by his mum that he wasn’t allowed out today.

Two days of torrential rain have followed Cameron’s outburst, leaving many worried that Cameron is a tattle-tale. Earlier this afternoon, Boris Johnson was seen going into Number 10 with his Hot Wheels, and two Gameboys, this may settle Cameron’s feelings but it may be a step too late. The Daily Disgruntled has told Cameron that he can have a go on our bike, but no reply as of yet. More updates on this later.


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